xAutoDMMonday, as felt by the whole internet — the tweets that make the start of the week bearable.
45 tweets · Collected July 2026
We started getting visitors… from every universe. Watch the official trailer for #SpiderManNoWayHome, exclusively in movie theaters December 17. Tickets on sale C̶y̶b̶e̶r̶ Spider-Monday, November 29.
a crocheted monstera for monstera monday 😱🔥
You know I’m in a K-pop band, right? @bts_twt will be here Monday! #BTSxEllen
My sister used a Kroger bag to bleach her hair and the logo came off on her head happy Monday
Incredibly inappropriate. What I post on this platform has nothing to do with a “coastal commission” in California! Filing suit against them on Monday for violating the First Amendment.
Now that Katie Hopkins can’t read Twitter, I can tell you that on Monday I made her fly to Prague to pick up a completely fake award. Video up shortly.
My dad starts chemo Monday. Here's just ONE prescription he needs. It's really very simple: without Obamacare, within 8 months he'd be dead.
A whole lotta history... this Monday is an important anniversary for the guys, it’s been #8YearsofOneDirection To celebrate, it's time to relive all the hits this weekend by streaming the official playlist and tweeting which tracks you are listening to https://t.co/H09htTye18
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday you can find us listening to Jung Kook's single Seven featuring Latto 🥵 https://t.co/gyJS5MIKIp
me: has 13 papers and 45 finals on monday my brain for the past 3 days:
me at 8:42 on a monday
The Wisconsin recount is not about finding mistakes in the count, it is about finding people who have voted illegally, and that case will be brought after the recount is over, on Monday or Tuesday. We have found many illegal votes. Stay tuned!
I am pleased to inform you that The United States of America has reached a signed agreement with Mexico. The Tariffs scheduled to be implemented by the U.S. on Monday, against Mexico, are hereby indefinitely suspended. Mexico, in turn, has agreed to take strong measures to....
I sympathize with those who fear that sex ed will sexualize kids. Our youngest studied WWI on a Monday; by Friday he'd invaded Belgium.
LOVE ON TOUR 2020. American Express and UK/Ireland Store Presales begin Monday, November 18. Public onsales begin Friday, November 22. https://t.co/TeYOVTjP56
I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!
He must be a college student, cuz he's not even phased. My dude has 3 papers due this week and a final on Monday, he'd rather be dead.
UPDATE: Republicans rejected our motion to adjourn until Monday so senators could read the bill they just introduced. RT If you think senators should have time to read a bill that affects every single American.
Canada has had 8 mass shootings in 20 years. The US has had 7 since Monday.
Mosque in dublin is on FIRE 🔥 Happy Monday folks!
Looking forward to hosting the annual Easter Egg Roll at the @WhiteHouse on Monday!
We politely asked to adjourn till Monday morning. So we could read and study the bill we were just given. Answer was no. So we are here blindly re-arranging the American economy in the middle of the night.
Don’t wanna drink on a Monday but my country needs me
I have a disability and all i want for my Birthday is to get tons of birthday wishes from people around the world! that is all i want for my Birthday no Gifts! please Retweet/Like ! to help make my birthday wish come true its on Monday!
My neighbor caught his girlfriend cheating never said anything ..waited until she went on her trip with her friends and gave ALL her shi to Goodwill 😬😭he’s breaking his lease Monday and moving into his new apartment Friday and she comes back Next Tuesday and she don’t know shi
Now watch how it’ll be Monday in 2 minutes.
💥 CeloLaunch is thrilled to announce the Whitelist Competition for Public Sale Round! 💥 JOIN NOW 👉 https://t.co/ctZq4w0mD5 ⏰ Closes: Saturday, 2021-12-25 15:00 UTC 🎟 Public Sale Detail ○ Platform: CeloLaunch Launchpad ○ Date: Monday, 2021-12-27 15:00 UTC #CeloLaunch
February: Trump buys $1–5 million in Dell stock. May: “Go out and buy a Dell!” Then: Pentagon signs a $9.7 BILLION deal with Dell. July: “Go out and buy a Dell!” (again) The President bought millions in Dell stock, then stood at a White House podium, twice, telling Americans to go buy Dell computers. Dell stock is up 235% this year. In a functioning democracy that’s called securities fraud. Here it’s called Monday.
Ludwig couldn’t stop laughing after watching Jasontheween do his YouTube intro for their Maybach Monday segment before completely mogging him by doing it himself 😭💀
Monday work ✅
🚨🔵⚪️ Real Oviedo agree deal to sign Estanis Pedrola from Sampdoria with medical tests to follow on Monday. Pedrola will sign a four year contract. 🇪🇸
Mom bod Monday ☀️✌️🌙
Assuming we’ll be coworkers by Monday
being cute on a monday if that’s allowed
A 24-hour marathon of ‘The Legend of Korra’ will air on TeenNick from this Sunday at 6AM through Monday at 6AM to celebrate the Paramount+ release of ‘Avatar Aang: The Last Airbender.’ (source: @spongieupdates)
It's Monday!
monday-chan 2.5 (render fix)
January: Trump starts buying Eli Lilly stock, up to $680K across seven purchases through March. Also January: His Medicare rolls out $50/month pricing for Lilly's GLP-1 weight-loss drugs. Then: The FDA approves Lilly's weight-loss pill in record time. Then: A government "TrumpRx" portal starts funneling patients straight to Lilly's telehealth. Then: The FDA cracks down on the cheap compounded versions that undercut Lilly. The President bought six figures of Eli Lilly, then had his own government fast-track its drugs, set its price, and kill its competition. Eli Lilly stock is up 60% over the past year. In a functioning democracy that's called insider trading. Here it's called Monday.
monday, i got you all over me you love me like ecstasy
Markets on Monday
Parenting, man. Na until you born you go really know wetin dey in front of you. Been babysitting a 2yr old since Monday, and all I can just say is I'm grateful for life 💔
Stocks should go up this Monday!
Packed house in The Villages yesterday for the kickoff of the Top of the Ticket Tour with @AshleyMoodyFL! It’s officially Primary month and early voting begins Monday in several counties across the state. To find early voting dates, locations, and hours in your county, visit:
Kindness shines through even on the stormiest days️🌦️ #StormOnSesameStreet, a new special, is coming to @Netflix and @PBSKIDS on Monday, August 3.
JUST IN: 🇯🇵🇺🇸 Japan expected to announce Monday a coordinated U.S. intervention to support the yen after it hit a 40-year low. The joint yen-buying follows Japan’s estimated $59,000,000,000 in prior intervention.
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