Best Hilarious Tweets

Jordan Rutledge

@JordanRutledge

yea breakups are rough but have you ever played a card you thought was hilarious in cards against humanity and no one laughed

darwin

@itsnotdarwin

when ur playing "cards against humanity" and u think ur card is hilarious and then the person reads it out loud and not a single person laughs, yeah that shit hurts

kira 👾

@kirawontmiss

LMAOOO this headline is hilarious

Shayy🧃

@shayy_lior

I'm not into soccer but this guy is so hilarious.. i can't stand it 😂

sai

@SaiB0i

Nicki Minaj using people as railings will forever be hilarious to me 😭😭😩

The Wild Wild Breast

@Slee_333

The internet is wild & hilarious 😆

cora

@coraxpbs

this is genuinely hilarious

Ami Horowitz

@AmiHorowitz

This is so nuts. Sad, but kind of hilarious

alexjm 🇺🇸

@alexjmingolla

Brits and Americans misunderstanding each others’ slang is hilarious

𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨

@Bennieeexyz

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career.

kordell

@lledrook

these brazilian niggas hilarious man

6ɪx✦

@ok6ixx

So i started dating this guy who's "really into birds." Thought that meant he had a bird feeder or whatever. Showed up to his place for the first time. This man has SEVEN parrots. Seven. They all talk. They all have opinions. One of them heckled me during dinner. Called me "the new one" in a British accent for some reason. My boyfriend thinks it's charming. I'm being bullied by a bird named Gerald. Tried to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend last night and Gerald kept interrupting with "IRRELEVANT" in that same British accent. The other birds think Gerald is hilarious. They're learning from him. I'm outnumbered. My boyfriend proposed last week. Gerald said "she'll say no." I said yes out of spite. Gerald has been sulking for three days.

BRS

@Bryce_Estelle

The concept of trying to convince a woman to like you is hilarious

𐡀

@Xyleniqq

My neighbor, Ed, was ninety one. Lived alone. Had a cat named Mr. Buttons. Ed died three weeks ago. Heart attack. Quiet. Quick. I didn't know him well. We'd wave. Small talk about the weather. That's it. Two days after he died, there's a knock on my door. It's Ed's daughter. I'd never met her. Ed's daughter: Hi. I'm Rachel. Ed's daughter. Me: Oh. I'm so sorry for your loss. Rachel: Thank you. I'm here about the cat. Me: The cat? Rachel: Mr. Buttons. My dad left instructions. He wanted you to take him. Me: What? Rachel: He left a note. Said you were the only person on the street who didn't hate the cat. Me: I don't even know the cat. Rachel: Apparently you fed him once. I tried to remember. Then it clicked. Six months ago, Ed was out of town. He asked if I'd feed Mr. Buttons for two days. I said yes. I fed the cat. That was it. Me: I fed him one time. Rachel: Well, he left the cat to you. Me: I don't want a cat. Rachel: Neither do I. I'm allergic. Me: So take him to a shelter. Rachel: He's eighteen years old. No one's going to adopt him. Me: That's not my problem. Rachel: Please. I'll pay for his food. I just need someone to take him. My wife appeared behind me. My wife: We'll take him. Me: What? My wife: We'll take the cat. Rachel looked relieved. Rachel: Really? My wife: Yes. Bring him over. Rachel left. I turned to my wife. Me: We're not cat people. My wife: Ed left you his cat. We're taking the cat. Me: I don't want a cat. My wife: Too bad. An hour later, Rachel showed up with Mr. Buttons. He's the ugliest cat I've ever seen. One eye. Half a tail. Looks like he lost a fight with a lawnmower. Rachel: He's very sweet. She handed me a carrier and left. I put the carrier in the living room and opened it. Mr. Buttons walked out, looked at me, and hissed. Me: Great. For three days, the cat hid under the couch. Wouldn't eat. Wouldn't come out. My wife: Maybe he's grieving. Me: He's a cat. My wife: Cats grieve. On day four, I'm sitting on the couch watching TV and Mr. Buttons jumps up next to me. Just sits there. I didn't move. He curled up and fell asleep. Now he follows me everywhere. Kitchen. Garage. Bathroom. My wife thinks it's hilarious. My wife: He loves you. Me: I don't love him. My wife: Yes you do. Last week I took him to the vet. Spent $300 on bloodwork. The vet said he's in good shape for eighteen. I told my wife. My wife: See? He's going to be around for a while. Me: That's not comforting. Yesterday I caught myself talking to him. Me: You want dinner? Mr. Buttons meowed. Me: Yeah, me too. My wife walked in. My wife: Are you talking to the cat? Me: No. She smiled. I'm a cat person now. I hate it.

Jalin Troutman

@JalinTroutman35

This is the most hilarious request I’ve ever seen I love Facebook lmao

Catturd ™

@catturd2

Crazy Candy is absolutely having a psychotic meltdown event on X. It’s so hilarious. Every tweet is full of more desperation and panic, and they get dumber by the minute. Can’t stop laughing at these suckers and gullible fools.

A🪲

@seattleiminyou

Personally think it’s hilarious to start racing joggers out in public

G 💗

@miz_gizzy

A dog's sigh is so hilarious because wth is stressing you my G ?!?!?

kira 👾

@kirawontmiss

laughing at someone’s car when YOU don’t even have a car is hilarious

Joelle LB

@joelle_lb

this is the most hilarious shit I've seen in a while lol gm

☣︎

@BigMo_tion

Me chilling in my room laughing at my own jokes cause im fucking hilarious

$age

@Unstablee_

This shit is still hilarious too me

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚

@beyoncegarden

DOJA IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS FOR THIS I’M CRYING😭😭😭😭😭

zore

@itszore

this video is fucking hilarious no matter how many times u watch it

DaSean

@Kuddy_4

“Wanna Go Outside?😭😂🐶” my dog hilarious.

siah

@CGNsiah

bra dis is hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

Bearded Blessing 🤘🏽

@DJTrev252

This is a serious message. Don’t get behind the wheel if you are COMPLETELY out of it. Ok now that we got that out the way. Whoever recorded this is HILARIOUS 😂 my favorite commentary EVER.

Eyal Yakoby

@EYakoby

BREAKING: Egyptians are physically throwing out the Western leftists who showed up to “march to Gaza.” This is hilarious.

*internal screaming*

@flapjacksflambe

We need to normalize shaming asshole celebs that think shitty behavior is hilarious. DONALD SUTHERLAND DIED OF COPD. This isn't funny??? Like what the fuck am I missing, why are they laughing at this?? 🤦‍♀️

당신은 사랑받기에도 이미 충분한데

@origamifirefly

bilingual problems: jokes that are hilarious in one language and make no sense in the other

bob saget

@bobsaget

Devastated. Met Norm in Ottawa when he was in my audience at 17 years old. Been close for decades. We have lost a comedic genius. No other voice in comedy has been as uniquely prolific, brazen, dark, hilarious, and heartfelt. Love you forever, Norm.

Dillon Rogers

@TafferKing451

Zomboid is hilarious because someone will be like "why is eating bacon making me unhappy?" and people will be like "did you cook the bacon?"

sazzy

@sazzyLM8

Messi outpacing Mbappe to a ball isn’t speed? you guys are hilarious

Nilen

@limroul1111

I've been scrolling r/antiwork to sate my hatred and holy shiiiittttttt it's hilarious on there

Larry Jones

@QuanFlix_

Bruh what's hilarious he spelled Tony wrong so the tweet bypass everybody mutes 😭😭😭😭

vids that go hard

@vidsthatgohard

The fact that Chris Evans memorized this entire monologue is hilarious 😂😂

Prism

@Lawprism21

The actor playing Steve is hilarious

PNWGUERRILLA

@pnwguerrilla

The cops reaction to Tim walz getting smacked with an egg is absolutely hilarious.

Western Lensman

@WesternLensman

2009 WHCA Dinner. Wanda Sykes says of Rush Limbaugh: "I hope his kidneys fail." Obama thought it was hilarious. No moral outrage campaign from journos to remake the event.

.

@D1Br7ne

Tacticos are hilarious 😭

Simon Kuestenmacher

@simongerman600

This gun ownership and yoga interest matrix is totally hilarious!

Storm

@tivstippi

The popularity peni has while having exactly one comic run to her name is hilarious into the spider verse saved her broke ass life

Rina Lu🇷🇺

@rinalu_

Rubio's meltdown proved that Iran's LEGO videos work great, so Iran made another edition. Hilarious 😅

Vivo

@vivoplt

its fucking hilarious that HR people think they can assess technical people

M⛏️M

@MoronMining

It's hilarious how easy it is to get left-wingers to abandon their "trans women are beautiful" position.